His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
