As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
