Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
