there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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