Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
