TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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