I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
