I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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