well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
