She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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