If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
