It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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