I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
