so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
