i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
