wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
