I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
