If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so let's talk penis.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
