I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize