If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
