I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
