I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
