Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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