Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize