You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
