Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
