I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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