Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
