If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
