I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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