im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have tasted many bathrooms
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
