okay pat passed out under dana's car
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
