You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
