meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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