so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
