no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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