you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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