the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
