I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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