he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
