Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
