i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
