Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
