Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
