sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
