Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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