I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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