I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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