I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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