Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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