She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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