so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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