I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
